Policing Individuality

I just heard one of those thirty second news stories, and I feel it necessary to comment. As the report goes, some girl at some middle school (I didn't hear where) has to serve two- TWO detentions, as one is clearly not enough, for- get this- hugging a friend. That's right folks. She hugged a friend after school. What a problem child, eh?

You see, not only had she been warned once before about her outrageous behavior, but the school has a strict policy against "public displays of affection." They even sent letters to all the parents about it. Well that sounds like a good idea, we can't have kids making out, let alone groping one another on school grounds. Could lead to off-campus intercourse. But, in keeping with the idea of over-policing people who do nothing wrong, let's take "public displays of affection" as literally as possible, and punish a hug between two friends. Matter of fact, let's go ahead and ban the blowing of kisses, overly flirtatious smiles (the overly flirtatious part will be a judgement call of the administration, naturally), and eye contact too. After all, any young person knows how meeting eyes with a member of the opposite sex can send butterflies to your stomach.

But why stop there? These kids need to be stopped from going too far! Handshakes, high fives, and the sharing of pencils should also go. You know what, let's just get to the point of what the anti-depressant pill pushing drone thinking (see my post "Drone Thinking") liberal morons want- let us put every student in an individual cubicle, from which they will have contact with people only through computer instant messaging. That way, there is no more public, thus "public displays" will be impossible.

Yes, I am being ridiculous, and on purpose. TO POINT OUT HOW RIDICULOUS WE'RE ALREADY BEING! My God, is it such a wonder that today's youth has no respect for anything, especially the rules? Everyone knows that teenagers are stupid, but they're not that stupid. They know when a rule is there for a good reason, and they respect it, even when they break it. But, they also know when some grown up loser abuses his power and bullies kids just because he can, probably just to feel good about himself. And when they see that happening, the teenager grows angry (not without good reason), and rebels, and rejects everything the adults tell him. Dealing with teenagers requires one to be just and fair. It does not require one to ride them so hard when they don't even do anything wrong.

But then, you know, maybe that girl should be punished for giving a hug after being warned. It will prepare her for the real world, after all. With the way this country is headed, maybe it's just a hard lesson that she is better off having learned early. Once she grows up, she won't be so surprised. She can look forward to being pulled over for driving 47 m.p.h. in a 45 zone, getting fined by her home owner's association for not having her trashcan off the curb by 3 p.m. (even though she gets home from work at 5), getting arrested for kissing her husband's cheek on the sidewalk across the street from a high school in full view of the teenagers there (egad, another public display!), and being put on trial for scratching the back of her leg just a little to close to her buttocks.

Hell, while we're at it, we can make it law that she must die her blond hair brown (it's not fair that she's a natural blond and other people aren't), fine her having a bigger house than her neighbors, make it illegal to have any bright colors (meaning anything except black, brow, dark blue, or grey), or brands on her clothing, force her to wear a large retainer to give her a lisp because she has such a beautiful voice that others become jealous, take large portions of the money her job pays her because she makes more money that other people, fine her for having four children instead of the state-mandated two, and, finally, issue large fines to be paid either in money or other property... for dying!

Sounds crazy right? Sounds like a George Orwell book, or some crazy ramblings of some blogger who is exaggerating and possibly on drugs, right? Well, half the stuff up there in the last two paragraphs already DOES happen. Did you realize that? Did you catch which ones I didn't make up? Well, the thing about bright colors and blond hair, the retainer, and the kissing on the cheek thing, I made up. But then, the thing about driving 47 in a 45 zone has been known to happen. The trashcan thing happens in "living communities" (what we once called a neighborhood) all the time. Also, Americans are already fined for having larger houses. It's called property tax. Same thing for earning more money; we tax a person more the bigger their paycheck is. The thing I said about issuing fines for dying? You guessed it, death tax. Is it really so far out to imagine her also being fined for kissing her husband... or even having a husband? That's discriminating against lesbians and gays, after all, so regular married couples ought to be taxed and fined for it. That will encourage those homosexuals still in the closet to come out of it, and discourage the straight majority from keeping down the homosexuals by getting married in the first place. And as for the four kids instead of two thing- China does it, more ruthlessly than simply fining someone, and environmentalist extremists are calling for just such laws. They think people who have more than one or two kids are criminals. (Eco-criminals to be exact.) This stuff isn't so impossible.

Now look, for those of you with objections to the ideas above. I know it may seem a little extreme, of course. But it seems extreme only because you've been brainwashed by neo-cons and so called "freedom lovers." But, I assure you, once you're full of mood-flattening antidepressants and other mind altering prescription drugs (it will be easier for the next generation, thanks to Ritalin alone the kids will be used to it by the time they're adults), you'll understand how wonderful it is to suppress all individuality whatsoever. Life will be so much easier when you have no emotions, and really don't feel different than everyone else. Let's all just be equal!

So there it is. To conclude, what I have written above is ridiculous. I know that. I did it on purpose. What's scary is just how real some of it is, and how real the rest of it could be in the near future. It isn't outside the realm of possibility, or even probability to see all of the things I wrote (meaning the half that don't happen already) in the coming decades. Not only are kids all over the country required to watch Al Snore's lying propaganda movie, some schools (in Palm Beach County, Florida- look it up) have already required- required- parents to watch that piece of propaganda, An Inconvenient Truth, or their kids' grades would suffer. True story! See that? Schools force parents to watch a nonscientific, purely propaganda movie that they also force their students to watch, and punish the students if it the parents don't. Tell me that isn't Orwellian. Tell me it isn't just as bad as making brighter colors of clothing illegal in public. These are truly dangerous times if the people in charge of schools can get away with all this. Just remember: the over-policed Orwellian future starts with something smaller, yet equally as stupid. Something, for instance, like punishing an innocent girl's friendly hug after school.