Thanks, Guys!

Sometimes I have to conclude that there is no difference between the Rs and the Ds. Other times, I have to conclude that the Ds are pure evil, like Hitler, with the concentration camps and all that; and the Rs are a lesser evil, like a mafia boss who has people killed all the time, but still gives the waiter a big tip at the steakhouse. Today is the latter.

As of August- that's today- the Democrats controlling Congress have shut the doors. Kicked the press out. Turned off the lights (very green of them to remember to do so). And gone home. The speaker of the House did one last thing before leaving for her vacation: congratulated herself and her party. After all, a 9% approval rating- the lowest in the history of this country- is quite a feat. Meanwhile, America is screaming, pleading, dying for something to help them from these incredibly high gas prices. The most obvious solution to anyone even in high school- and remember how dumb you were in high school- is to DRILL OUR OWN OIL!!! I won't get into what a "futures market" is, and I don't feel like spending the time explaining what "speculation" is, but it's not all market manipulation. It has a purpose, and the people who do speculate the market, and purchase futures, are smart to do so. With that, I repeat: DRILLING OUR OWN OIL WOULD CUT GAS PRICES BY A THIRD OR MORE IN A MONTH!

And yet, they skirt the issue, telling lies, spinning statements, and refusing to do a thing beyond voting to let the FDA regulate cigarettes, (that means they just attained more power), and naming post offices after people. They get in front of cameras and microphones and say that oil companies haven't even tapped all their available resources. It's a lie! They haven't tapped all their land, because only some of it has oil for the tapping! They say we can get by on wind power (that's you, Mr. Reid, who just happens to own acres and acres of land that would skyrocket in value if wind generators were put on them.) But if you do the math, that is one of the most absurd claims ever!

Then, their presidential candidate comes around saying he wants to tax the oil companies in order to give a thousand ever-depreciating dollars to every family for their energy costs, as if that wouldn't drive the price ever higher. Oh, yea, that'll teach 'em, those dirty stinking oil companies! Speaking of stupid Obama ideas, he claims- he really said this, I heard it!- that we can save just as much oil as we could ever drill in our own county by- get this: getting regular tune ups and properly inflating our tires. The billions and billions of barrels of oil could apparently be "offset" by tuning up our cars. And inflating our tires correctly. Like no one does that already. Just imagine how many billions of barrels of oil we're wasting by having our tires at 35 psi instead of 40... I guess this bumps Dirty Harry's all-time most absurd statement to the number two spot.

Oh, I almost forgot: when it comes to nuclear power, they vote that one down, too.

Even the Rs (which stands for "retarded," meaning "slowed") were trying to get votes passed to help America out of this energy crisis before it gets worse. Oh, by the way, it isn't bad yet. It has only just begun relative to the next decade or two- if we don't do anything about it. What a surprise, I'm so shocked. Nancy, Harry, and the rest of those George Soros Marxist cronies have found another way to weaken America, yet again. They're nothing if not resourceful.

Oh, on a quick tangent- a study was done on Al Gore's giant house, and it was determined that he uses far more energy- per square foot, even, not just overall, than five average American households, at least! Not accounting for the fact that his house is huge, he uses twenty times as much energy as the average American! So, in order to save face, he outfitted his whole house with those stupid light bulbs that take less energy but contain poisonous mercury, put up solar panels, etc etc etc... Well, this past year, his energy consumption after all that coming off the power grid (meaning coming from polluting sources like oil and coal, not his stupid solar panels) rose another ten percent! Combine that with all his private jet use and, call me crazy, I don't think he cares about the environment when he tells us we should abandon oil and coal all together in ten years.

Now might be a good time to mention that, putting aside his mountain of faults, McCain has actually called for the lifting of gas taxes- which happen to be over three times as much as oil profits on every gallon. We're talking something like 30-40 cents a gallon, here! The call has been entirely ignored by the Ds (standing for dumba-, well, you know), who would never, ever, not in a million years, even dream of letting go of a tax! Not when that is their power base and source of control over us all. Come to think of it, how often does the government give something up once it takes it?

I should also remind you that ten years ago, Bill Clinton vetoed legislation that would allow drilling in Alaska, and one of his bigger arguments against it was that "it'd take ten years before we even saw a drop." Well, it would have taken less, but here we are, ten years later,and looky here... boy do we need it more than ever! Apparently Nancy the Botox queen hasn't learned.

Or maybe she has. Maybe the fact that Americans are weakened and suffering more (relative to our own past, not the rest of the world) is a good thing to her. After all, the weaker a populace is, the easier it is to subjugate them. I'll give her credit for one thing though, at least she's somewhat sly about it. Barry Hussein is actually out there saying- and I heard him say it- that he wants to slow our military's technological advancement. He wants to stop improving the United Sates' military technology. You know, since we're ahead of the world now, by about as long as two presidential terms (eight years, for you math whizzes), as the rest of the world's nations continue to advance their technology, we should just stop. Another wonderful long term solution. What a great idea. I wonder if in ten years the media, once a country like China had caught up to us in technology, would continue at large to ignore the stupid mistake Barry made, just like they ignore what ol' Bubba did ten years ago by refusing to tap America's oil resources in the near lifeless, frozen tundra of Alaska. Sounds about right to me.

Anyway, I'd like to say thanks to Nancy, Harry, Barry, and the rest. Thank you all so much! At least you turned the lights out before you left. That ought to help drive down prices. Just don't forget to inflate your tires.